Thirty is the New Twenty

As Deana Carter crooned in her song Strawberry Wine, I still remember when thirty was old. In fact, I remember feeling that way as recently as last week.

I’m not going to lie; I still breathe a sigh of relief in recognition of the fact that I have three more birthdays to go before I reach the milestone. But, I have to admit, when my husband disembarked on his third decade of existence this past weekend, I didn’t feel that old. For that matter, neither did he. In fact, I think he may have actually enjoyed it - as he should have - for we had one of the most fun weekends I can remember in recent history. We celebrated all weekend with family and friends; we consumed adult beverages; we attended a DMB concert; and we did it all like champions (that is, if champions are in bed by midnight…)!

So, maybe we don’t have the stamina we did in our early twenties, but I’m starting to realize that is actually a good thing. While we had a great time all weekend, we refrained from overindulgence. The result? I didn’t wake up with vomit in my hair.

This is a perfect illustration of why I think 30 is the new 20. I have just as much fun now as I did when I was 20 - only now I possess a little more knowledge, a little more inhibition, a slightly thicker wallet, and the ability to get out of bed the next day. Getting older is code for getting classier, yes?

As for the cellulite and gray hair…well, maybe I’m not quite as accepting of those. In fact, let’s just drop it, ok? Seriously. Let it go. Now.

Twilight

I’ve fallen victim to the latest craze. I’m a late adopter only because I was originally a skeptic. It is a general rule of mine that I neither read nor watch any kind of sci-fi B.S. If it can’t really happen, I want no part of it. So, naturally I thought a story involving vampires couldn’t actually be interesting, let alone addicting. OH, WAS I WRONG. This stuff is literary crack. As Edward Cullen (the Ryan Reynolds of fictional vampires) would analogize, this series is my brand of heroine. I can’t put it down. Really, can’t do it.

I blame this 100% on Jenna. She was the one who hog-tied me to the couch and forced me to watch the movie (or perhaps it was completely my idea?). I was addicted immediately. It was inexplicably captivating. In fact, I can’t recall my existence prior to this moment.

If you’ve read it, you know how I feel. The thing is, I’m not one of those hopeless romantic types. In fact, my family and close friends have often teased me for being generally un-phased by gestures of romance. So it seems to reason that I wouldn’t enjoy the book at all. Yet, somehow, this sci-fi teenage love story has taken me in its grips.

For those of you who have yet to open the door to this mythical world (Open it. Do it!), I should briefly explain the basic plotline of the series… you know, just so you are in the know. The books are written in the first-person perspective of the main female character, Bella, who leaves Sunny Arizona to live with her dad in the dreary, rainy town of Forks . On her first day of school in Forks, she meets Edward. She recognizes that he is different from the other kids. What she doesn’t yet know is that what makes him different is the fact that he is a vampire and he is desperately thirsting for her blood. As Bella and Edward begin to get to know one another better, they fall deeply in love. Their love is complicated by the fact that Edward must never allow his innate craving for her blood to overtake his desire to care for her and keep her alive. I know what you’re thinking. Good stuff, right? Trust me; it only gets better from there.

It was a Sunday when I borrowed the first book from Derri, and by Monday night I had read over 300 pages. By Wednesday I had purchased the other 3 books in the series (as I couldn’t bear to finish the first one before I could borrow the rest), and within 15 days I had finished all four (Vampires don’t sleep. Why should I?). Then, in an attempt to prolong my stay in the fantasy realm, I purchased the movie and watched it twice. I’m not sure what to do with my life now. All my pre-Twilight extracurricular activities just don’t offer the satisfaction they once did. At this rate, I’ll probably end up jobless, homeless and alone; for I will be roaming the dark, cold streets, tirelessly seeking another morsel of my beloved new drug.

Or perhaps I’ll just spend a lot more time on Twitter.

Mom says I’m pretty on the Inside

But, Megan says that I’m a dirty hippie.


I know, right? This is a shocking revelation. I mean, I shower and wash my hair EVERYday. I always use deodorant. I even have a spare stick at work. I despise bands like Phish (I would keep naming bands, but I don’t even know of any other hippie groups) and I wouldn’t be caught dead at that gathering of filth you people call Bonnaroo. Seriously, I am a very clean girl (Ryan would say I’m too clean, but what does he know anyway?). Furthermore, I love all things posh and preppy, like Louis Vuitton, Banana Republic and Tiffany & Co. For crying out loud, I aspire to own my very own Lexus SUV! I am the ultimate sorority girl wannabe.

So what, you may ask, would prompt Megan to utter such harsh words? Well, apparently she takes issue with the fact that I don’t shave my legs everyday…err, every week (ok, month!). But, who says I should have to? I wear pants nearly every day of the year (when one is as pale as I am, she learns to ward off criticism by maintaining full coverage year-round). So, save the summer months, the only person (other than myself, of course) who sees my bare legs is my husband. And, let’s face it; he’s primarily interested in my shirt-covered areas. Really, if I didn’t point it out to him, he would never notice the forest growing under my socks. So, why would I waste 10 minutes of sleep each morning when no one even notices my hard work? I’m not the type of person who enjoys hard work just for the internal satisfaction of a job well done. I do it for the praise, people! (Ok, perhaps this applies only to shaving.)

Of course, I do realize I would probably save a fortune if I didn’t have to purchase a bottle of Drano each time I decided to wear a dress to work. And, I would enjoy not being concerned that the sales girl at Express will catch a glimpse of the Sasquatch she just let in the fitting room. But, alas, this is just not enough motivation…

Honestly, is it really that gross? I think not. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to show you.

Disclaimer: I DO shave my underarms everyday. I do not need that much sleep.

Big Texas Hair Day

As a member of the working class, my days are typically as exciting as a routine pap smear. Wake up. Snooze. Wake up. Throw the alarm. Wake up. Snooze. Wake up (ish). Drag myself to shower. Perform excruciatingly monotonous beauty routine. Drive half hour to work. Curse other drivers. Pray for forgiveness for cursing other drivers. Boot up computer. Spreadsheet. Spreadsheet. Return missed (a.k.a., screened) phone call. Spreadsheet. Eat lunch at computer. Spreadsheet. Spreadsheet. Drive half hour home. Repeat a.m. prayer. Go to gym (on a good day). Watch Ryan cook dinner (trust me, this is better for everyone). Eat dinner. Watch DVR. Fall into bed. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy my job (as much as one can enjoy a job that doesn't entail shopping, manicures and post-lunch naps), but I'm not blind to the fact that my life isn't overly fascinating or exciting. That's why I'm thankful to work with some wonderful people who, like myself, refuse to fit into the mold of the stereotypical, pocket protector-wearing, work-a-holic CPA. You see, a few weeks ago, my co-workers Deana, Megan (see Megan's blog in 'My Blog List') and I decided to spice up the morale around the office just a bit. A few secret meetings and several Gigi's cupcakes later and 'Theme Fridays' were born. First on the list? Big Texas Hair Day. We hot-rolled. We teased. We sprayed. We sprayed again. It was a raging hit. I don't think anyone realized just how much hair I actually have (I'm pretty sure Ryan was genuinely frightened).

This past Friday we paid homage to our Northern neighbor, the great nation of Canada. It was 'aboot' as much fun as Big Texas Hair Day. Just wait until next Friday, my friends, just wait...

Please feel free to respond with your ideas for Themed Fridays (Disclaimer: all submissions must be HR friendly to be reasonably considered).