Mom says I’m pretty on the Inside

But, Megan says that I’m a dirty hippie.


I know, right? This is a shocking revelation. I mean, I shower and wash my hair EVERYday. I always use deodorant. I even have a spare stick at work. I despise bands like Phish (I would keep naming bands, but I don’t even know of any other hippie groups) and I wouldn’t be caught dead at that gathering of filth you people call Bonnaroo. Seriously, I am a very clean girl (Ryan would say I’m too clean, but what does he know anyway?). Furthermore, I love all things posh and preppy, like Louis Vuitton, Banana Republic and Tiffany & Co. For crying out loud, I aspire to own my very own Lexus SUV! I am the ultimate sorority girl wannabe.

So what, you may ask, would prompt Megan to utter such harsh words? Well, apparently she takes issue with the fact that I don’t shave my legs everyday…err, every week (ok, month!). But, who says I should have to? I wear pants nearly every day of the year (when one is as pale as I am, she learns to ward off criticism by maintaining full coverage year-round). So, save the summer months, the only person (other than myself, of course) who sees my bare legs is my husband. And, let’s face it; he’s primarily interested in my shirt-covered areas. Really, if I didn’t point it out to him, he would never notice the forest growing under my socks. So, why would I waste 10 minutes of sleep each morning when no one even notices my hard work? I’m not the type of person who enjoys hard work just for the internal satisfaction of a job well done. I do it for the praise, people! (Ok, perhaps this applies only to shaving.)

Of course, I do realize I would probably save a fortune if I didn’t have to purchase a bottle of Drano each time I decided to wear a dress to work. And, I would enjoy not being concerned that the sales girl at Express will catch a glimpse of the Sasquatch she just let in the fitting room. But, alas, this is just not enough motivation…

Honestly, is it really that gross? I think not. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to show you.

Disclaimer: I DO shave my underarms everyday. I do not need that much sleep.

Big Texas Hair Day

As a member of the working class, my days are typically as exciting as a routine pap smear. Wake up. Snooze. Wake up. Throw the alarm. Wake up. Snooze. Wake up (ish). Drag myself to shower. Perform excruciatingly monotonous beauty routine. Drive half hour to work. Curse other drivers. Pray for forgiveness for cursing other drivers. Boot up computer. Spreadsheet. Spreadsheet. Return missed (a.k.a., screened) phone call. Spreadsheet. Eat lunch at computer. Spreadsheet. Spreadsheet. Drive half hour home. Repeat a.m. prayer. Go to gym (on a good day). Watch Ryan cook dinner (trust me, this is better for everyone). Eat dinner. Watch DVR. Fall into bed. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoy my job (as much as one can enjoy a job that doesn't entail shopping, manicures and post-lunch naps), but I'm not blind to the fact that my life isn't overly fascinating or exciting. That's why I'm thankful to work with some wonderful people who, like myself, refuse to fit into the mold of the stereotypical, pocket protector-wearing, work-a-holic CPA. You see, a few weeks ago, my co-workers Deana, Megan (see Megan's blog in 'My Blog List') and I decided to spice up the morale around the office just a bit. A few secret meetings and several Gigi's cupcakes later and 'Theme Fridays' were born. First on the list? Big Texas Hair Day. We hot-rolled. We teased. We sprayed. We sprayed again. It was a raging hit. I don't think anyone realized just how much hair I actually have (I'm pretty sure Ryan was genuinely frightened).

This past Friday we paid homage to our Northern neighbor, the great nation of Canada. It was 'aboot' as much fun as Big Texas Hair Day. Just wait until next Friday, my friends, just wait...

Please feel free to respond with your ideas for Themed Fridays (Disclaimer: all submissions must be HR friendly to be reasonably considered).